hesitancy about doing the right thing

When i was waiting for my friends yesterday, i saw a blind man struggling to find his whereabouts. I wanted to help him, but guess i was just pondering too much about the situation. The next thing i knew was that another guy came to the man's rescue. I knew that helping the blind man was the right thing to do but unknowingly, i hesitated for a while. I know how bad this might sound but i can't help it facing a similar situation like this at times.

The incidence taught me a lesson that whenever you want to do something good, you shouldn't give it any second thoughts. Just do what your heart desires and not what your mind tells you. Our mind can turn out to be our greatest enemy at times, because our mind is a cunning faculty whereas our heart is just an innocent organ that is pure, uncontaminated by the evils of this world. Most of the time, we let our mind to get the best of us. Thus, we are designed to be calculative and manipulative that we tend to overlook simple things in life like doing the right thing. We just willingly surrender to negative things to influence our decisions. Instead, if we solely let our heart to decide, then the choices we make would give us absolute satisfaction and would also free us from the guilt of not being able to do something that coincides with our conscience. As i recalled this incident, i was feeling guilty for letting my mind win. The only reassurance i could give myself is that the next time i encounter similar situations, my deeds would be guided by my heart instead.

That being said, although we often compare mind and heart in the above manner in literature normally, in real, medically speaking, our mind is the important organ involved in decision making and in control of our emotions whereas heart is just a muscular organ that pumps blood. Guess I'm just contradicting myself here :P

expectations

Expectations- they can be bad or good, either they destroy or they build you, either they make you feel disappointed or proud. The outcome actually depends on the circumstances. Some expectations motivate you, the rest burdens you. The fact is that it all rests on how close is that expectation with your capabilities. Dream big, but do not dream impossible. Personally, I feel sometimes suffocated by other people's expectations. It can just be overwhelming sometimes when you need to live up to others’ expectations. I, for one, prefer to have my own expectations rather than being congested with other people’s expectations as no one can possibly know me better than my own self.

I can only pity those kids whose parents burden them with their own unrealized dreams and never allow them to enjoy their lives to the fullest. These children are never given a chance to prove themselves and even worse, they are forced to do something they are not passionate about. I am grateful that my parents never push or force me to become anything. They just gave me the full freedom of choosing anything that I love. This proved to be very crucial as it allowed me to be wiser in decision-making and also gave me a sense of responsibility to never let my parents down. Everyone on this Earth is born differently and is gifted in a unique way that can only be explored if given full freedom to attempt and try new things to unravel the hidden talent.

Nonetheless, some expectations are good if it is sensible. For instance, when a teacher tells her student that she believes that the student can do much better and ask him to work harder, this would certainly motivate the student to realize his own potential. But, expecting someone to be perfect and to be excellent constantly is just too much at times because that is just too impossible. We, as human beings are never perfect and are bound to make mistakes at anytime. If everyone realizes this simple truth, life would be much easier as you would not overdo things just to prove yourself to others.

suicide or murder?

Few weeks ago, my friend was saying about feeling depressed and wanting to commit suicide. i didn't know how to console her. But, all that came to my mind when she said that was of a sister who was very close to my heart. She passed away when she was 18 years old. I was in Form Four at that time. When she passed away, all i could think of was that i would never see her again. And i was feeling guilty about not talking to her when i saw her for the last time. I met her about a few months before she died and i didn't get to talk to her simply because she was talking to another friend of hers, and i thought that i could catch up with her another time. I, like a typical human being, just took that moment for granted and lost the chance of talking to her for the very last time.

So, i told my friend that suicide is not really about killing your own self but murdering all those around you. That's what i believe at least. Although the sister didn't commit suicide and died because she met with an accident, there's not really much difference between the two. She just vanished into thin air out of a sudden.

I said to my friend that she'd probably be at peace if she died, but everyone else would be haunted by the GUILT of not being able to do anything to stop her. Her parents would spend their remaining years wondering where they've gone wrong and how they should have sensed it coming and why they didn't love their daughter more. And her friends would wonder why they didn't do anything to help her even though she was right in front of them all these years. The biggest sin is guilt. It will make your life a living hell if you are not able to bury it and move on with your life.

dedicated to Dana akka (130986-160904)
i miss u terribly.. love you always..:)

life's ups and downs..

One day you feel like you are the top of the world, the other day, you feel like everything has let you down. This is the riddle of life. Nothing is permanent in this world. For those who've realised this truth, they would not have any problem adapting when things do not turn out well. But, for those who think they're invincible, they are heading for a big trouble when everything around them is no longer in their favour.

That's why it's always best to be humble. Every one is just the same in this world. The world is so big and all of us are just tiny ants in it. There's no point in being so cocky because anything can happen at anytime. Fame, wealth, etc. none of these things would last forever. It could just disappear in the blink of an eye. Being students, it's better to share your knowledge rather than being 'kiasu' or selfish. The more you teach others, the more you would learn eventually.

Also, there's no point in being jealous with others who are in a better position than you, because that person probably would have worked harder to be there. Nothing can be done by just being jealous. All of us should instead turn that negative energy into positive emotion to try to change ourselves to reach greater heights. But, this doesn't mean that you have to pray that the other person should be doomed. Life is a circle, if you are true to yourself and you acknowledge your inner strengths and weaknesses and accept them, you can make a difference too and become a better person in the future.

friendship

For some, this word probably signifies nothing. For me, it’s the purest form of relationship that requires both parties to trust and love each other with no strings attached. I have had so many friends and faced so many problems because of faulty friendship.

I do not understand why some people just cannot be true friends, especially girls. They just tend to let jealousy and every other minor issues to get in between their friendship. Nowadays, most people just use this term to benefit them as though friendship is a form of business. I have tried so hard to be a good friend and still find it very hard to maintain a friendship for a long time. I feel that I'm being used by my friends for their own benefits at times. I do not really get their concept of friendship. They have to understand that I am most certainly not a machine. They need to realise that friendship is not a ladder or tool to achieve greater heights in life. I have kind of started to give up on friendship. People should learn to treat friendship with a great deal of respect. A friend who gives a lot and expects nothing much in return is hard to be found nowadays.

The scar caused by betrayal of close friends although might take a longer time to heal, will heal eventually I suppose. Cheers to finding more true and lasting friendship :)